Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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