ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize