I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
