I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
