In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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