what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
