she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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