I didn't shave. On purpose
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
