Are we in a gay sports bar?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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