Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
