You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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