I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
