I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
