yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
