Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
