He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize