I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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