She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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