Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's like God shit irony all over that family
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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