Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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