38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
