I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Randomize
