John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
