It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
