sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
