Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
