I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
