I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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