**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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