Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
