she smelled like a LAN party
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm too high and old for this...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
