I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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