Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
