; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
