That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
