I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm jealous of your bromance
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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