I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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