# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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