You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
