I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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