You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
