you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
