i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
