And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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