I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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