WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
