I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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