i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
