How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
