I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
