Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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