I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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