Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
