What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
