she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
