There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
