when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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