If that was your dad, he is hot
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
