i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
