I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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